Welcome back y’all!! This week’s question brings up a great conversation about friendships and particularly when they seem a little too forced. I’d love to answer your question so go submit here!!
Question: How do you know when a friendship is too “forced?”
Answer: Do you feel like you’re putting in wayyyyyy more effort with your friendship than your friend is? Or do you feel like you’re straining yourself to put in time to a friendship that you don’t care much about? Your friendship may be forced. But, don’t fret!! If you want it to be salvaged, it can be. And if you feel okay moving on, move on!
(PSA: Don’t be like Regina.)
I think that the most important thing is to not be afraid of moving on. Friends change; they move in and out of your life and leave an impression, but you can’t expect them all to last forever. And it’s really, really okay if they don’t. It’s better to let yourself move on with fond memories before you start to feel truly let down and damaged by an unhealthy or unbalanced friendship.
Butttttt….if you don’t want to move on, you can try to fix it! If you feel that you’re the one putting in more effort, forcing it on the other person, tell them how you feel. Maybe they’re just busier than you know and you can come to the common understanding that you won’t put so much pressure on them and that they’ll put in more effort to show they care. And, if you’re the friend who’s being half-hearted, tell your friend how much you care about them and explain why you haven’t been putting in the effort. Even a few more texts to check in on them or a 1 hour study sesh could go a long way. But, don’t drag them along. You’ll most likely need to change some habits and be a little more dedicated for this to work out, so don’t make false promises if you can’t/don’t want to keep them.
No matter what side you’re on and no matter your intentions, it’s imperative to maturely convey how you’re feeling to your friend. They are your friend after all. If you care about them, you’ll do what’s best for both of you and work out what’s best in the long run.