We’re switching things up a bit this week with a question about friendships! Friendships are some of the most important relationships in our lives that carry us through some of our hardest times, so I’m here to tackle all of your questions, comments, and concerns about them!! As always, go here to send me a question!
Question: What builds a great foundation to a friendship?
Answer: Genuine care. It’s hard to fake. But, if you don’t got it, you don’t got it. My best friend and I have been best friends since 1st grade, sticking together even when I moved to Philadelphia and then Atlanta. It’s not because we could see each other every day or because we could even talk every day, but it’s because we genuinely care about each other. We put in the time when we’re able to catch up with each other and to try out best to visit, but also care about each other enough to understand we don’t always have the time and that’s ok.
Friendships begin to crumble when this foundational care is only half-hearted on one side. In my experience, it kills friendships when someone isn’t as dedicated or invested as the other person. If you aren’t even trying to create time for your friend, it’ll show and you can’t expect them to keep panning for your attention and caring the same. Obviously if you’re really busy, your friend should understand, but it all comes down to if you want to give them the time of day or not. If you don’t, then the friendship will only corrode over time.
So, how do you build this great foundation? If you’re very busy, try to take a minute to text or call your friend and let them know you’ve been busy but then ask them how they are and make them know that you really do care about their wellbeing. If you’re not as busy, try to spend time with them. Whether that means going to do something fun or just doing homework together, it’ll make a difference. If you’re not giving your friend any of your time, you can’t expect much in return.
Friendships are also built on fundamentals such as trust, respect, and overall good intentions. You should always be looking out for your friend’s best interests. Always tell them the truth, but be respectful of their feelings. If you want your friendship to last, you have to tread carefully sometimes, walking the thin line between hurting their feelings by telling the truth or leaving them ignorant and in a happy bliss. Every situation has to be evaluated differently, but, if you have the genuine care for them that you should, you’ll figure it out.